What is stalking and harassment?
Overview
Stalking and harassment can happen to anyone, by anyone, at any time.
It’s often defined as ‘a pattern of unwanted, fixated and obsessive behavior which is intrusive and causes fear of violence or serious alarm or distress.’
Often incidents of stalking and harassment might at first go unnoticed, seem small or won’t even seem connected at first. However, when incidences are combined, they form a pattern of behavior – FOUR.
- Fixated
- Obsessive
- Unwanted
- Repeated
These behaviors can appear in many forms and can happen both in-person or online. Sometimes, the perpetrator might even go through friends and family to reach the victim.
It’s important to log all incidences
According to the national stalking charity Paladin, in 96% of stalking cases, the victim knew their stalker. As well as this, Paladin reported that the average case of stalking and harassment will last on average for 15 months and include over 100 separate incidences of stalking before the victim contacts the Police.
So, what do stalking and harassment incidences look like?
- Loitering around your workplace
- Damaging your property
- Sending unwanted gifts, cards and notes
- Bombarding you with unwanted text messages and DM’s
- Swinging between threatening you and wanting you back
- You ‘bump into them’ while going about your day
- Contacting you through your social media channels
- Creating fake social media and email accounts
- Tracking you via apps such as Track My iPhone or by using AirTags
These are just examples, and it’s important to note that perpetrators – will and do – stalk and harass their victims in many ways. Because of this, it’s important to document every incident of stalking and harassment so that you can understand the frequency and pattern of incidents and have a log ready if you want to report to the Police in the future.
If you’re not sure if what you’re experiencing is stalking and harassment, ask yourself:
- Am I fearful to go out in public in case I see them?
- Do I receive unwanted communications (social media, calls, texts, emails) that make me feel scared?
- Do they appear in places that I go?
If the above feels familiar, then you could be being stalked and harassed.
Why do people stalk and harass?
Often, a perpetrator will stalk and harass their victim to gain power and control over that person. Incidences of stalking and harassment are most likely to start when a relationship ends.
If incidences like the above happen during the relationship, this is called ‘coercive control’, and you can find out more about what that is and how you can protect yourself here (insert link).
I think I’m being stalked and/or harassed what do I do?
If you feel you’re in immediate danger, call the Police on 999.
You can also contact NIDAS and speak to our specialist Independent Stalking Advocacy Caseworkers (ISACs) who will listen to you and be there for you every step of the way.
ISACs can help you with:
- Tailored and individualized risk and safety planning
- Understanding the criminal justice system
- Advice and guidance in keeping safe
We can support you no matter where you are in Norfolk. Our aim is to listen to you, to guide you and to be by your side. You only have to tell us your story once. Our service will support you, your needs, your journey – your freedom.
As well as calling NIDAS, if you think you’re being stalked and harassed in Norfolk, it’s important to:
- Log all incidences personally e.g. in a notebook with dates, times and what happened
- Log all incidences with the Police either via 101, Online or by visiting a Police station
- Think FOUR; Fixated, Obsessive, Unwanted, Repeated and don’t forget that support is available if you need it.
If you feel you’re in immediate danger, always call the Police on 999.
