Experiencing domestic abuse as a male: coercive control, emotional abuse and financial abuse

By Published On: 22/10/2025Categories: Uncategorized

Up to one in five men are thought to experience domestic abuse at some point in their lifetime, meaning that over 5 million men in the UK have, or will, experience domestic abuse.

Of those who call men’s domestic abuse charity ManKind, 98% report experiencing psychological abuse from a partner, which includes coercive control, and emotional abuse. 29% report experiencing financial abuse.

Coercive control, emotional abuse and financial abuse are illegal, and can have devastating effects on anyone who experiences them.

If you, or someone you know, is experiencing these in a relationship, contact NIDAS today.

What is coercive control?

Coercive Control is a form of domestic abuse that strips someone of their freedom and independence, leading them to be ‘controlled’ in different ways.

People perpetrating coercive control are essentially trying to control a person through manipulation, making that person feel like they have no ability or free-will do certain things.

Coercive control often doesn’t include violence. However, perpetrators use emotional and psychological tactics over a period of time.

Signs of coercive control include:

  • Demanding to see your phone and messages
  • Monitoring your activity by tracking your whereabouts and social media activity
  • Commenting on or trying to control what you wear

Perpetrators often use the fear of consequences to get control, such as fear of being shouted at, or being accused of hiding something, if you don’t show them your phone.

Described as an act or pattern of threats, humiliation and intimidation, coercive control creates fear, isolation and dependency for the victim, as the perpetrator has removed them from their support networks while controlling the victim’s everyday behaviour and activity.

In 2015, coercive control became a criminal offence in England and Wales under the Serious Crime Act. This law recognises that abuse isn’t always physical, but also emotional, psychological and financial.

What is emotional abuse?

Emotional abuse is behaviour that deliberately harms a person’s self-worth or emotional wellbeing.

This can include:

  • Verbal assaults – constant criticism, insults and name-calling
  • Humiliation – degrading or shaming you in public or private
  • Gaslighting – making you doubt your own sanity and trying to hold you responsible for the abuser’s actions or feelings
  • Rejection – ignoring you or undermining your feelings

Emotional abuse can be easier to spot than coercive control, as individual incidents can often be pinpointed or observed, whereas coercive control is often more subtle and builds over a period of time.

What is financial abuse?

Financial abuse is when someone restricts access to another person’s money, finances and assets.

Abuse of this kind can leave people isolated and trapped, as they become completely dependent on the person who controls their access to money.

Financial abuse includes behaviour such as:

  • Not allowing access to joint documents or arrangements, such as rent or mortgage details, or a joint bank account
  • Preventing a partner from working
  • Forcing you to takeout credit or a loan in your name
  • Not providing money for essential items such as food and clothes
  • Threatening to take joint assets, unless a partner stays in the relationship

29% of callers to men’s domestic abuse charity ManKind [Hyperlink] are experiencing a form of financial abuse.

Reaching out for help when experiencing financial abuse can be frightening, due to the feel of dependency and vulnerability that it creates.

How can I get help?

If you feel you’re in immediate danger, always call the Police on 999.

If you’re not in immediate danger, NIDAS can help and support you to cope with what you’re experiencing, and to improve your situation in a way that suits you.

Our aim is to listen to you, to guide you and to be by your side.

You can contact us in the following ways:

  • Call: 0300 561 0555
  • Text: 07860 063464
  • Email: referrals@nidasnorfolk.co.uk
  • Alternatively, send us your details here, and we’ll be in touch.

As well as calling NIDAS, if you think you’re experiencing coercive control or emotional abuse in Norfolk, it’s important to:

  • Log all incidences personally e.g. in a notebook with dates, times and what happened
  • Log all incidences with the Police either via 101, Online or by visiting a Police station

If you feel you’re in immediate danger, always call the Police on 999.